A year ago my 17-year old unwed daughter was pregnant. Some would say that is every parent’s worst nightmare.
However, on the bright side, the father of her child was her best friend and he wanted to be part of my daughter and his baby’s life. He was also 17. They met in Junior High and had been friends ever since.
I took them both to her first doctor’s appointment to confirm the pregnancy. I really didn’t believe it was true until I saw the ultrasound picture. There, in black and white, was my first grandchild.
Several months later when my daughter turned 18 she and her boyfriend moved out-of-state. She called frequently to give me updates and let me know everything was alright. Sometimes she texted me and asked pregnancy questions only a Mom could answer.
One day she called and said a test had been done and they were concerned the baby might have downs syndrome. It was alluded to that if the doctors’ suspicions were right, they might have the option of having an abortion. They talked it over and decided they would not have an abortion no matter what. Thankfully, a couple of weeks later another test was done and the baby was healthy.
Meanwhile, they were thinking of giving him up for adoption. Their reasoning was they were both so young they didn’t feel they would be able to give their baby the kind of life he deserved. I asked her if that truly was her decision or if someone else was pushing her into it. She said it was her decision.
Because of the baby’s size there was some concern she would not be able to deliver naturally so she was scheduled to have a c-section the beginning of December. Two days before Thanksgiving she called and told me she was going in for a c-section the next day. Not only that, they already had the adoption set up with a young couple who lived in their area.
I had been planning on going to visit them in January after they’d had time to settle into parenthood, not knowing they had officially decided on giving their baby up for adoption.
Thanksgiving came and went. The next week I was in a craft store shopping with my 9-year old daughter and I accidentally knocked over a display of decorations when I walked around a corner. At that moment it hit me like a concrete wall, “I’ll never get to hold my Grandson.” We left the store and I cried all the way home.
I know their decision was the best thing they could have done for their baby boy and I am proud of them for making that tough choice. It is an open adoption so if and when his parents decide to tell him about it, he will be able to meet his biological family.
I wish for you, my grandson, a life full of love and happiness. I may never get to bounce you on my knee but I pray many knees will have that honor.
Flower photo credit